Jon and Kate Gosselin are getting a divorce.Everyone has an opinion. Some blame Jon, some Kate, some both. Some just don't care.
I believe we can all agree that the kids are the ones losing the most.
I never liked Kate. Even from the beginning. So I think my thinking is a bit biased. She always annoyed me and came across as bitchy and mean. I think he needed to stand up to her a long time ago. I feel to a degree they pimped out their kids.
I personally think the issue is his role in all this. I feel his identity was ripped from him. It happens to many of us. Usually women. But she took control and went out and did her thing and he quit work and stayed home.
He allowed this to happen. But after a while became angry and bitter.
I am saddened by all this. But as with marriage, they made choices and with those choices come consequences.
So who is to blame. Well, I would like to jump up and say Kate. She was a wife who manipulated and belittled Jon.
On the other hand, Jon allowed it to happen. If he had stood up at the beginning, perhaps they would not be in this place.
But I do suppose I sympathize with Jon. I find I myself have allowed much of my identity to be taken away from me. And at times that makes me angry and bitter.
But in my case, my husband has nothing to do with that. It is all things I allowed to happen. And unlike Jon, I have sat down with Rob on many occasions and discussed this and he tried to make suggestions to allow me to get myself back.
This is not me talking about a serious marital issue I have, but rather something most stay at home moms (or moms in general) feel many times. We give up so much of who we are and if we are not careful we will completely lose ourselves. We must always strive to be the best mom and wife but also be the best of who we are and not lose sight of ourselves.
I am taking steps to get a bit of myself back. I think perhaps Jon is doing that to, but on a more dramatic and large scale.
Perhaps he waited too long and let things go too far for him to get his self back any other way.
But I will say this, to any mom or dad out there. Don't lose sight of who you are. Don't lose your identity. Because while you may freely give that part of yourself up, you will regret it and become bitter and angry that it happened.
Fight for your identity, stay true to yourself.
I never watched Jon and Kate but I totally agree with everything you said. I walked away from a career to raise children. Eighteen years ago. I'm only qualified to teach school and so many things have changed plus I must be recertified+++++ lots of other stuff. So, I am now lost. There is nothing that I can call my very own, not even my own life. It either belongs to the kids or my husband. In the beginning it was my husband that seemed a little bitter. Because he HAD to work. He had (and still doesn't)have a clue as to the kind of work I do every day for $0.00) he still has that mind set. I would LOVE to work. After 19 years it seems a little late to go back to teaching anyway. According to the State Dept of Ed., my best bet would be to get a AA in Elem Ed. I already hold a Bachelors and Masters but they do me no good now. It is now time for my son to go to college and the thought of going back to school...eeewww I just can't imagine.
ReplyDeleteAs I was occupied raising my kids 5 1/2 years apart. I (in the back of my mind) slowly watched my life go away and it's as if I don't even own my own life anymore. Yes, I did this to myself in a way in which "I never knew what hit me" I now at 52 regret a large portion of my life. I regret walking away from my career, I regret giving up my independence, I regret not being able to buy myself a much neede new(er) car or , I regret the things that my family automatically expect me to do FOR them, I regret, I regret!!!!
My daughter has 5 more years in high school, 3 before she can drive. I must be available to carry her to school and pick her up. This limits my job search. But, this is the way I see it. When she graduates high school and she goes off to college I imagine the husband will disappear around that time too. I see myself standing at the front door of Wal Mart greeting people as they enter and checking tickets as they go out. Most of the little ole ladies that do that now were probably in my boat 20 years ago and now find themselves in that position.
Again. It was something I did to myself but... no one ever told me what I was doing until it was to late.
I personally think they should of never gotten married. I'm sorry BUT! Jon is stupid , he new how she was in the first place. Also he told her he didn't want any more kids after the twins. I guess he has no balls, or maybe he just grew them to too late!!!! they didn't have to have any more kids. And a cheater is a cheater~!~!! kate is no better, she is a major control freak!!!! I will say I feel for her though, don't ask me why , but I do. I REALLY FEEL SORRY FOR THE KIDS. Those two got too money hungrey, and karma bit them in the ass. What a MESS!!!!!!!
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